Good morning, and welcome to the wild world of 2025! As the trade war rages, JFK's weirdo grandson is joking about having children with Usha Vance, scientists are ignoring “Jurassic Park” and reviving long-extinct dire wolves, Gen Alpha is going berserk over chicken jockeys, and fun-sucking cops are seizing emotional support tigers.

TRADE

📦️ Trump hits ‘pause’ on most tariffs to focus fire on China

Is it weapons-grade stupidity or unparalleled genius? Unless you’re shipping from China, you’re back in business, baby. President Trump on Wednesday issued a 90-day pause on the reciprocal tariffs he’d slapped on, well, just about every country in the world.

Why? Treasury Sec. Scott Bessent applauded Trump’s courage and said, "this was his strategy all along." Trump hinted that he was at least partially motivated by the crumbling financial markets and noted that more than 75 countries had asked to negotiate instead of retalitating with new tariffs of their own. He didn’t pull back completely, though. Everyone’s still stuck with the new baseline 10% tariff. For now.

• Canada and Mexico will keep their new(-ish) 25% tariffs on products not included in the 2020 three-way USMCA trade deal.

• Trump’s older 25% tariff on steel, aluminum, and auto imports is still in place.

• And the next episode of Trade Wars? Potential “major” pharmaceutical tariffs coming in hot.

In response, Goldman Sachs yanked its prediction of a recession, and the stock market saw its highest single-day jump since 2008. But not everyone was moved.

The European Union voted to slap 25% retaliatory tariffs on a wide variety of U.S. products, including soybeans and motorcycles. Those are set to launch on April 15, with more coming in May. Why? Because Trump’s 25% blanket tariffs on

What about China? Things are only heating up on this front of Trade War 2025. China increased tariffs on U.S. goods to 84% and warned its citizens against traveling to America. President Trump responded by raising tariffs on Chinese products to 125%, saying China’s “days of ripping off the U.S.A.” are over.

• Is 125% a lot? No doubt. But it could be worse. "Shark Tank” investor Kevin O’Leary, aka Mr. Wonderful, thinks Trump should’ve gone with a nice, even 400%.

GOVERNMENT

💰️ The U.S. Department of Education is freezing more than $1 billion in funding to Cornell University (sorry, Andy) and $790 million to Northwestern. The freezes come amid an investigation by the department's Office of Civil Rights into 45 schools for alleged antisemitism on campus and DEI policies the administration claims are discriminatory. And the bigger they are, the harder they fall. Princeton is out $210 million, while Brown University is fighting to hold onto $510 million in grants. Harvard, meanwhile, is at risk of losing $9 billion.

🎙️ The National Recording Registry expanded its archive to 675 titles. New additions include the O.G. "Hamilton" recording, the Minecraft game soundtrack, “My Heart Will Go On,” a 1960 World Series broadcast, a Tracy Chapman album, aaaand the all-important Windows 95 reboot chime. Part of the Library of Congress, the registry preserves any audio deemed aesthetically, historically, or culturally important to the United States.

🌊 The International Maritime Organization (IMO) is meeting in London this week to consider taxing the carbon emissions of international shipping vessels. Delegates from 175 countries are involved, but the U.S. (an IMO member) isn't a fan. The Trump administration wrote a letter opposing the plan and vowing "reciprocal measures" if U.S. ships are taxed.

COURTS

👨‍⚖️ Feds lose in court, feds win in court

Well, you can’t win (or lose) ‘em all. Every presidential administration is in and out of court on the reg, and Trump is no different. These cases are so common that there’s literally an entire office within the Department of Justice devoted solely to arguing the government’s case before the Supreme Court (that’s the solicitor general). From the Supremes down, let’s check the scoreboard on some big cases this week.

The White House won a 5-4 vote at the Supreme Court to keep using a 1798 law, the Alien Enemies Act, to deport what it says are Venezuelan gang members. Only the case wasn’t exactly about that law. At issue was whether the deportees should be allowed to contest their removals in court.

• The answer? Yes — but only individually. The other side here wanted to block the deportations with one humongous class-action lawsuit.

• Another critical point: These guys must bring their cases in the place they’re being detained (that’s Texas) rather than trying to find a friendlier court elsewhere.

The high court also sided with Trump on two DOGE-related cases. In an emergency ruling on Tuesday, the court said a group of nine non-profit organizations didn't have legal standing to sue — that is, they weren't directly affected by this — on behalf of 16,000 laid-off federal workers. Most of those jobs are safe for now, however, due to another case not yet decided.

• On Wednesday, conservative Chief Justice John Roberts allowed President Trump to remove two board members of federal labor agencies… but only temporarily while the full case is pending.

Down at the district court level, a Trump-appointed judge on Tuesday ordered the White House to stop picking on the Associated Press (AP) for refusing to use "Gulf of America." Judge Trevor McFadden said the AP must be allowed back into press events in the Oval Office and other small spaces. Putting them on the naughty list for what they say violates their First Amendment rights.

TRIVIA

The world’s economies are inextricably linked by trillions of dollars in annual trade. That includes everything from that incredible $3.99 Temu glitter shirt to high-end Boeing jets. But trade is only a small portion of most economies. When it comes to total economic output, a few countries shine brighter than the rest. Which three countries have the three largest economies?

Hint: The first two are probably exactly what you think they are.

POLITICS

🏛️ Senate presses on with endless confirmations

Sure, budget negotiations are ongoing and trade wars are raging. But confirmation votes never stop in the U.S. Senate. The president’s picks for everyone from Cabinet secretaries to scholarship fund trustees must win Senate approval before taking their jobs. Fifty-one nominations have been approved so far. How many remain? Oh, about 1,250.

• Dr. Martin Makary will lead the FDA as Commissioner of Food and Drugs (no, not that kind).

• Dr. Oz (yes, that one) reports to RFK, Jr. as chief of the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS).

• Ex-Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee (R) will head to Jerusalem as U.S. ambassador to Israel.

• Ex-Dept. of Justice staffer Matthew Whitaker will represent U.S. interests as ambassador to NATO.

Next up: Billionaire entrepreneur, private astronaut, and soon-to-be NASA Administrator Jared Isaacman wants to go back to the moon ahead of any possible mission to Mars.

📆 Campaigns ramp up for 2026

While it may seem like just yesterday that we finally saw the end of Campaign 2024, it’s been five whole months. Five! And we all know what that means: Campaign 2026 is ramping up.

• The unfortunate few who live in Virginia and New Jersey don’t even get a year off. Both states have competitive races for governor this year.

As Democrats try to figure out how to use the trade war to their benefit next year, Senate races are taking shape. Democrats face a tough road on that front. Only one-third of Senate seats are up every two years, and next year’s selection leans heavily right.

• In Texas, Trumpy Attorney Gen. Ken Paxton (R) is challenging longtime Sen. John Cornyn (R) for the Republican nomination.

• In North Carolina, ex-Rep. Wiley Nickel (D) sees an opening against unpopular Sen. Thom Tillis (R).

Meanwhile, Rep. John James (R) is jumping into the three-way race for governor of Michigan against the eventual Democratic nominee and the independent mayor of Detroit.

BRIEFS

● A federal judge in California is poised to approve a multi-billion dollar settlement for NCAA athletes. The antitrust dispute could result in payments to former athletes, more regulated NIL payments to current athletes, and the end of current scholarship limits.

● The U.S. and Iran will meet in Oman this weekend for talks on hopefully nixing Iran's nuclear program. The meeting comes days after the U.S. and other Middle Eastern countries met in Abu Dhabi, UAE, to discuss "mutual defense and stability."

● Homeland Security Sec. Kristi Noem issued a waiver allowing U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) to ignore environmental regulations and expedite the construction of 2.5 miles of new border wall in San Diego County, CA.

● Ukrainian forces have captured two Chinese troops who were fighting alongside the Russian army in eastern Ukraine. More Chinese soldiers were rumored to be involved in the fight, but the Chinese government disputes that notion.

● At least 124 people are dead after the roof collapsed at the Jet Set nightclub in the Dominican Republic's capital of Santo Domingo. Victims include retired MLB players, politicians, and famed merengue singer Rubby Pérez.

QUOTE

ANSWER

If you think the gap between #1 and #2 is big, wait til you see the gap between #2 and #3. The three largest GDPs are:

1. United States - $30 trillion

2. China - $20 trillion

3. Germany - $5 trillion

Japan and India come next with more than $4 trillion each, followed by the United Kingdom and France at about $3.5 trillion.