Good morning! If you had to commit a crime … if it was required that you commit some sort of felony, and you were going down regardless, you’d make it a good one, right? Hold up a bank, maybe road rage against the left-lane hoggers? Well, one dummy went a different route and is now facing felony assault charges for … yeeting a Subway sandwich at a Customs agent in Washington, D.C. Seems like that one prooobably wasn’t worth it, no?

DIPLOMACY

🤝 Trump meets Putin, Trump meets Zelenskyy

President Trump’s polar plunge with Russian President Vladimir Putin didn’t garner a final deal for peace in Ukraine. But the U.S. delegation did come away from the high-stakes Alaskan summit with some idea of what will be required to end the three-year war.

The juicy details: On this episode of “Real Housewives of Anchorage,” Vladimir made his first trip to the U.S. since 2015, while Donald continued his hunt for a Nobel Peace Prize. After their big meeting, the two men agreed that they had made “a lot of progress” but gave no specifics on what that meant.

• Secretary of State Marco Rubio clarified that they "identified potential areas of agreement" and were still holding out hope for a ceasefire (during peace negotiations).

• American diplomat Steve Witkoff was more concrete. He claimed they agreed on solid, NATO-like security guarantees for Ukraine after the war.

That’s high on the wishlist for Europeans. The key part of the NATO pact is its Article V provision that an attack on one is viewed as an attack on all. This ideally prevents an invasion of any member country. European leaders are happy Trump is grabbing this issue by the horns, but they want “ironclad” security for Ukraine post-war.

• They clarified in a letter that Russia mustn’t be able to prevent Ukraine’s membership in either NATO or the European Union.

Russia controls ~20% of Ukraine (map), including most of four provinces in Ukraine’s industrial east (Luhansk, Donetsk, Zaporizhzhia, and Kherson) and the Crimean Peninsula. So the Europeans’ demand that “international borders must not be changed by force” could fall flat.

• Ukrainian President Zelenskyy said Sunday that the current front lines should be the “start” of negotiations. But Putin reportedly wants his current 20% plus some.

Monday meeting: Later today, Trump (a former reality TV host) and Zelenskyy (a former comedian) will meet in the Oval Office. Their last sit-down blew up in spectacular fashion, so Zelenskyy is bringing friends this time, including the leaders of Germany, France, Italy, Finland, and the E.U.

• Settling Ukraine’s post-war borders, its military rights, and its security guarantees from Europe and the U.S. will be key to solidifying anything.

• Russia also has some weird demands, like rights for the Russian Orthodox Church and more Russian language use in Ukraine.

Trump thinks they're "pretty close to a deal.” We’ll learn more about that — and the chances of a potential trilateral meeting between the U.S., Ukraine, and Russia — later today.

GOVERNMENT

🏆 U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) is cracking down on a little-known part of the citizenship process. USCIS instructed its officers on Friday to start considering additional factors when deciding whether immigrants applying for citizenship have the required "good moral character." For decades, this has pretty much been an auto-pass in the absence of criminal convictions. Now, applicants will also be screened for actions that are "contrary to the average behavior" of locals. Positive attributes like community involvement, family ties, and educational attainment will also give 'em a boost. A USCIS spokesman called U.S. citizenship "the gold standard" that should only be offered to "the best of the best."

🏛️ The Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) released its schedule for the first two months of its upcoming term. Following the traditional kickoff Red Mass church service, justices will hear 10 arguments over five days in October and another nine over five days in November. Some big topics on the early-term docket: Can Illinois count mail-in ballots received two weeks after Election Day? Does a Colorado state law banning conversion therapy violate freedom of speech? Does a federal law that requires race-based congressional districts violate the 15th Amendment? Can Delaware require expert testimony in some lawsuits?

🌍️ The Department of State on Saturday halted all visitor visas for people from the Gaza Strip. In a statement, State said it's conducting "a full and thorough review" of the processes used to facilitate "temporary medical-humanitarian" visas for Gazans. The move follows claims by a right-wing podcaster that the current system is being abused. Meanwhile, ahead of a new combat offensive in the northern Gaza Strip, Israel is passing out tents and other equipment to Gazans ahead of relocating them into southern "safe zones."

TRIVIA

Happy early birthday to Bill Clinton, who turns 79 tomorrow. Our 42nd president left office more than 24 years ago, but is somehow still two months younger than the current guy and four years younger than the last guy.

Clinton was elected in 1992 when he was just 46 years old, making Slick Willie — that’s a policy-related nickname that predates his sex scandals, by the way — America’s third-youngest president. Which two presidents were younger than Clinton, and how old were they when they took office?

Hint: Both served during the 1900s.

LAW

👮 DC government challenges Trump’s police takeover

The president’s takeover of law enforcement in Washington, D.C., is going about as well as you’d expect with D.C.’s local government.

To recap: Congress created D.C.’s local government with a 1973 law called the Home Rule Act. In certain circumstances, it allows the president to take over. Citing D.C.’s high crime rate — which has fallen since 2023, but is still higher than in 2019 — Trump used that authority last week to deploy 800 National Guard troops to the city.

• He also federalized the city’s police force and sent FBI agents out to start laying down the law.

Who’s in charge? U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi announced that Terry Cole, head of the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA), would serve as D.C.’s "emergency police commissioner.” What followed was stark confusion over who was running the show: Cole or Police Chief Pamela Smith.

Legal fight: Trump wanted Cole in charge of D.C. police. But Bowser said the law didn’t allow for that. D.C.’s local attorney general agreed. He declared Bondi’s order “unlawful” and told Smith she doesn’t need to follow it.

• After a court hearing on Friday, Bondi backed down and agreed to let Smith retain control. But that came at a cost: Local D.C. police are now cooperating with federal immigration enforcement.

What’s next? At Trump’s request, the governors of West Virginia, South Carolina, and Ohio commanded about 700 of their own National Guard troops to D.C. to help out. They’re detaining suspects, but are leaving the arrests to local cops.

• Since the takeover began last week, the White House says 240 arrests have been made and 25 homeless encampments have been cleared.

The clock is ticking for Trump on this. Without Congress’s permission, his emergency powers here are limited to 30 days. He says he’ll seek an extension, but there’s no guarantee Congress agrees.

On a related note: An attack submarine, some reconnaissance aircraft, several destroyers and guided-missile cruisers, and more than 4,000 Marines and sailors to man them, are headed to the waters surrounding Latin America and the Caribbean as part of Trump's plan to combat drug cartels.

BRIEFS

● California Democrats finalized their map to redraw the state’s House districts and take five seats from Republicans. Voters will have to approve the plan, though, and ex-Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger (R) has vowed to terminate it.

● Alligator Alcatraz is getting a sequel. Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) announced plans to open a second immigration detention facility, this time dubbed "Deportation Depot." The governor said his state is “enforcing immigration laws and removing illegal aliens.”

● Hurricane Erin became a Category 5 storm on Saturday, marking an explosive start to the 2025 hurricane season. The National Hurricane Center doesn’t expect Erin to make landfall, but the storm will generate dangerous rip currents all week on the East Coast.

● The Air Canada flight attendants’ union says its two-day strike will continue despite a government demand that they return to work and restart salary negotiations with the company. The strike stranded more than 100,000 travelers worldwide over the weekend.

● A federal appeals court paved the way for mass layoffs at the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB), ruling a lower court had exceeded its power by freezing the layoffs. Critics have claimed since its 2011 creation that the CFPB is too powerful.

● New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell was indicted by the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ) on Friday. Prosecutors allege the mayor and her then-boyfriend, a local cop on her protection detail, defrauded the city to hide their relationship.

QUOTE

ANSWER

1. Theodore Roosevelt took office at 42.

2. John F. Kennedy took office at 43.

Teddy was younger, but he was the VP who took over when President McKinley was killed, so JFK still gets a star on his report card for being the youngest person ever elected president.

If you’re curious about our other child presidents, Ulysses S. Grant was 46, Barack Obama and Grover Cleveland were 47, and that hottie Franklin Pierce was 48.